Have you ever felt that yourself is not good enough?
When you meet your old friends and they will say, ” Oh my, you are so skinny!” or “I feel like you are getting fatter now, am I right?” or “You are 23 years old girl! keep up with the Joneses, please be calm and elegance”
Since we were still kids, this society has taught us with so many standards that they made.
“You dont have new clothes for your barbie, so you can’t play with us.”
“You don’t use the type of shoes like ours, you can’t join our group.”
Even sometimes our teacher will call us stupid if we failed our exam.
Until we grew up as an adult, the society still grade us with their own values. The advertisement told us that pretty girl should has long straight hair until you spend half of your monthly allowance to get your self-confidence. You must behave and calm so people will consider you as mature woman or mature man. You have to be accepted by top 5 university until you do everything even pay the “devil money” so people will call you smart and cool and many more examples. You name it.
You are overwhelm now. You know that this is not you, but you want to be accepted by the standards. You know this is wrong, but what else that you can do?
Be TRUE and be YOU!
You are born unique so you don’t need to be graded by the society standards. You are precious so you don’t need to be like somebody else.
Let’s read one of my friend’s story about how she struggle with her own insecurities and how she won!
“I think there’s no woman born thinks that there’s nothing lack in her. That happens to me too. I’m born with this tan skin, curly thick hair, tall, and skinny. I never thought that my physical features would be the main reason of my insecurities.
I wasn’t paying much attention to my physical appearance back then until I started my elementary school. It was all good and chill until I fell in love. I fell in love with this guy and instead of feeling conscious whether this guy would like me back or not, I feel quite confident with myself because of my personality. But sadly, my self-confidence of my personality got beaten up by the thought of ‘I am ugly’.
But sadly, my self-confidence of my personality got beaten up by the thought of ‘I am ugly’.
I saw this boy I liked showed affection to one of my friend. This friend of mine has the standards of what people thought of ‘beautiful girl’ should be like. She has beautiful fair skin, long straight hair, great face structures, and nice body. Everybody just admired her. I began to feel unsure of myself.
I began to feel unsure of myself.
This only got worse when my high school life started. Before I entered my high school, I decided to straighten my hair. I had this thought that I need a new impression from people, so I started to try to look more like what others think of ‘pretty’.
I need a new impression from people, so I started to try to look more like what others think of ‘pretty’.
It wasn’t easy because after I straighten my hair, the insecurities built up higher because there were tons of beautiful girls with straight hair and fair skin. I always felt like something need to be fixed in me.
I always felt like something need to be fixed in me.
I tend to joke all the time, that’s just part of my personality. People don’t look at me seriously because I always joke around and make fun of people, including myself.
So my friends started to joke on my dark tan skin. I didn’t take it seriously at first, because I like to make fun of myself in front of people as well, but then it started to make me feel ashamed of myself. I felt so mad at my skin. I’ve tried tons of skin care to lighten up my skin tone, but it just wasn’t work. My self-confidence just crumbled and I wasn’t feel pretty at all.
My self-confidence just crumbled and I wasn’t feel pretty at all.
My teenage life grows in between this environment of people just makes boundaries of the word beautiful and that sucks.
On to my college life, I moved to a completely different city. I decided to grow my natural curly hair back because I figured that I didn’t work my straight hair properly in high school. I was so ready to face my insecurities because I knew I’m gonna meet a lot of pretty girls in college and I tried to not pay any attention.
Yeah, it’s true that I have met lot of beautiful girls. But what stunned me that I got to see girls with dark tan skin and they seem so confident in their own skin. And I remember one of my friend came up to me and told me that she liked my curly hair and my tan skin. She thinks I’m unique, and because of that, I’m pretty.
She thinks I’m unique, and because of that, I’m pretty.
That’s all. That’s all it takes for me to get back up again and started to build my self-confidence. I remember thinking “maybe all I need is to know how to work my hair and my skin and walk like a confident princess”. I think that what I have in me is what people don’t have and I should be grateful for that. That we are all different!
I think that what I have in me is what people don’t have and I should be grateful for that. That we are all different!
I began to think I don’t need to fit in to people standard of beauty, because I would never gonna be like them.
I would never gonna be like them
I was born this way, I couldn’t ask for anything more. All I need is to accept myself. So I look at myself, and I respect every features of me. My skin, my hair, my body, my eyes, my lips, my nose, everything. I’m a lot more confident, a lot stronger, a lot more resilient. I add a little touch of make up, and I feel more and more confident. Of course, most people still look up to girls with fair skin, straight hair, pointed nose, small lips, etc. But I realized that it doesn’t matter. I don’t need people acceptance that I’m beautiful. I don’t need men approval that I am pretty.
I don’t need people acceptence that I’m beautiful. I don’t need men approval that I am pretty.
The word ‘beautiful’ or ‘pretty’ itself, I think is the main reason why all woman feel insecure, and that’s not fair!
Maybe the word ‘beautiful’ need to be emphasized more in to ‘valuable’, ‘important’, ‘worthy’. We are all valuable, we are all worthy, we are all important.
We are all valuable, we are all worthy, we are all important.
I’ve been in a long thoughts of finding my own version of beauty. As for me, when I began to see the diversity of beautiful woman around me, I started to see myself valuable. We live in this world that provides us all amazing things to see ourselves valuable and worthy. The blue sky, the flowers, trees of green, the stars, the wind, everything! It’s just sad that we tore our self-confidence apart just because these standards made by human doesn’t fit in what we have in ourselves
It’s just sad that we tore our self-confidence apart just because these standards made by human doesn’t fit in what we have in ourselves.
So wear your skin like a gown!Embrace your hair like a crown! Work your body! And if you feel confident in your make up, put your lipstick on! Wear your mascara! Do not feel ashamed. We are all valuable, right? 🙂
(Gloria Recni, 2018)
Isn’t it awesome? When you have accepted yourself, you become the best version of yourself 🙂